Rickisms: You may be a member of Eastern Star if ...

• If you can find your wife by following the sequin or sparkle trail on the carpet.
   
• If you're sitting at a traffic signal waiting on the light to turn Martha.
   
• If you're still sitting in a meeting 30 minutes after it has been officially declared finished.
   
• If your wife spots another woman wearing the same dress, and that's a good thing.
   
• If you answer red, yellow, white, green, and blue to 'what are the five primary colors.'
   
• If you chuckle when you see a warning label with the word 'Fatal'.
   
• If your formal wear has a dozen pins attached to them.
   
• If the only answer to 'what are the names of Charlie's Angels' you can think of is Adah, Ruth, Esther, Martha and Electa.
   
• If you've been in a meeting for three hours and they're still doing introductions.
   
• If you're wearing so many pins that your suit or dress weighs more than you do.
   
• If you sit down and poke yourself in the back because of the pins you forgot you put there.